The Onion truthiness. →
I don’t enjoy that stuff. I don’t enjoy anything. I don’t even want to be here. The sadness and regret I feel every waking hour of my life is absolutely unbearable. I am a miserable pig and I do not want to exist.
The irony is that, even if I did die, the hell I would surely be sent to could not possibly be any worse than the bottomless pool of excrement I already paddle around in like some demented, shit-covered walrus. In fact, every time I hear my voice coming through the headphones I nearly gag, and I think, “What the fuck am I doing?” Why would I say that Michael J. Fox is faking his Parkinson’s symptoms? Why would I find it funny to play a song called “Barack the Magic Negro”? Why would I tell people not to give aid to Haiti?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I Don’t Even Want To Be Alive Anymore
BY RUSH LIMBAUGH
The Onion isn’t pulling any punches.
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paulitex reblogged this from thebronzemedal and added:
This is brilliant. Click through the onion article, truly classic.
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He’s going in the special circle of hell with the FEMA workers who stole aid money from Katrina victims and all those...
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thebronzemedal reblogged this from mthig and added:
Onion isn’t pulling
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mthig posted this
